Thinking about
New beginnings. I’m hoping to awaken my spirit to adventure and learn to find ease in risk. A few days ago, I moved into my new apartment and I LOVE it here. I deeply feel O’Donohue’s words of “learning to find ease in risk” because this move was a risk. I didn’t know how I’d feel meeting my new roommates, sleeping in my own room for the first time since high school, or discovering a new city. At this moment, I am feeling really good in this newness, but I also hold space for moments of sadness, vulnerability, loneliness, fear.
When I moved in, I noticed a bird on my windowsill. Inspired by the boys I babysat this summer, I now love looking up birds or other animals/plants I see, so I looked it up and found out the bird is a mourning dove. I believe the dove is bringing me peace in this new transition.
Learning
I reference this below but I recently read Supercommunicators by Charles Duhigg. He discusses how there are 3 different types of conversations — the practical (what is this about/decisions), the emotional (how do we feel), and the social (who are WE). If we are not having the same kind of conversation with another person, we are unlikely to connect. I loved the emphasis on having a learning conversation, meaning we want to learn about how the person we’re conversing with views the world.
Another point that Duhigg makes is that when we ask deep, important questions, it almost feels like we are revealing something about ourselves. He says to ask questions that elicit a situation’s empathy, such as: how do you think that would feel if it happened to you? Why do you think they got so angry? It reminded me of an article I read recently where Brooks talks about the art of conversation. One of the tips Brooks gives is to storify, whenever possible AND turn your partner into a narrator. He says to ask specific follow up questions that allow the person to tell a richer story. Ask: what was the tone of their voice? Did they whisper or were they yelling? What was their body language like?
Asking
What do you love to do in your city? What are your favorite restaurants, cafes, places to hangout? (Because I really am asking these questions a lot!)
What was the most unexpected compliment you ever received?
What is your song? (in this moment)
mine are: Reflections (Sona Jabarteh) and Ave Maria (Beyoncé)
In times of despair and grief, where have you found hope?
Reading
This is the Story of a Happy Marriage (Ann Patchett)
It’s fun to slowly make my way through a book of short stories that don’t connect because you can pick up one, then not read the book for a few days and pick up another.
This Time Tomorrow (Emma Straub)
Nature Unveiled: 40 Reflections on Experiencing God’s Creation (Jill Smith)
A really cool way to experience nature and love
Just finished Supercommunicators (Charles Duhigg)
I’d heard good things about this book and really enjoyed it. I love how Durhigg stressed that the purpose of communication is to connect :)
namaste,
anna